From the Diary of Euan MacDonald – Entry for July 8, 2034

Dec 18th, 2013 | By | Category: European Union, News, Politics, Ukraine

by Euan MacDonald

Kiev, Little Russia, July 8, 2034

Dear Diary,

What a day it promises to be tomorrow, our Great Leader’s birthday! I’m arranging the bunting for our building, and have bullied the neighbors into stitching together about a dozen huge national flags.

There’s another special reason to be happy – the chocolate ration is up to 300 grams, for the whole of July! That’s enough for a whole bar of Nukovy plain chocolate! And there’s more: there was a delivery of Belarusian sausage to the state gastronom last night, and guess who was able to use his Party connections to secure a kilo of the finest Minskaya smoked pork sausage? Yep! Yours truly! Mind you, I had to wade through a scrum of babushki to pick it up – one of them wailed like a wraith when I shoved her aside. It just goes to show – it doesn’t do to be weak in today’s Russian Union! A strong union, for the united Slavic nations!

I can’t help but wonder how things would have turned out if the people on the Euromaidan had managed to hold out, though. I suppose Little Russia could even have been part of the EU by now. I haven’t been to Europe for years now; I wonder how they’re getting on? They never mention Europe in the news nowadays.

Of course, once the gas price and $15 billion loan deal with the Motherland was done, that was the beginning of the end for old Ukraine, and the beginning of our “bright future” in the Russian Union. The winter was long and cold that year, and once people started to lose heart and drift away from the Maidan, it wasn’t long before the Berkut returned to take revenge for their humiliation in front of Kiev City Hall. You can’t ask people to just sit out in the cold and take police beatings again and again. It’s no surprise they all went home. Maybe if more people had come out to support them it could have been different. But they didn’t come.

And they didn’t have any chance to turn things around once the Great Leader had “brought proper order” – as He so succinctly put it – to the electoral system. Imagine! The Great Leader has won three five-year terms in a row, each with over 90% of the vote, and last year’s People’s Referendum has conferred on Him the presidency for life!

He brought order to the judicial system pretty quickly as well, and that was the end for the opposition leaders too – off to the uranium mines, and never heard of again! That’s one thing you can say for the Russian Union – no messy democracy, with people arguing and shouting and blocking the streets. Peace and order, and predictable election results, and harmony between the parliament, our Great Leader, and the Supreme Leader in Moscow.

Anyway, that’s enough writing for today. I’m coming to end of the page, and what with the paper shortages I’d better not use any more. I need get back to fixing up the bunting, and I have to check on how the neighbors are doing with those flags. Spontaneous demonstrations don’t organize themselves, you know!

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